Thursday, December 5, 2013

Rebuilding Bridges

Throughout the past two years at, some points I was the lowest version of myself. Lately, I have been doing my best to reconnect with the people that saw me at my lowest point or people that have been made victim to my anger that I took out on them and apologize. You all know by now that anger is the emotion that was the hardest for me to shake, and at times still is. I would take situations that had nothing to do with me and make them my business. I jumped on any chance to take my anger out on anyone that was in my path.

I threw away friendships that I had and didn't think twice. I took dating, something that I once understood, and made it impossible. I would put on an act like they had a chance, then I would rip the rug out from underneath them. I wanted to be "normal" again so bad that I jumped into dating and later on drinking. Because that what 22 year olds did. But I wasn't the girl I once was. I was broken and I did everything I could, including hurt the people around me, to not have to admit that to myself.

I want to take this time to try and mend the bridges that my situation helped me burn down. To all of you reading that I may have hurt, I want you to know that I am not that person any longer. I'm facing my situation daily and won't be that person again.

To the people that may have met me in my darkest days I hope that you don't look at me as the girl who was nothing but a mess. I don't want to be know as the girl who couldn't pick herself up, if anything be known as the girl that fell down, and in the end, got back up. I hope you give me the chance to see that for yourselves. I now see the importance of having people around that are supportive. I take the supporters for Safe & Sound Refuge and put them at the top of my list. I do this because I've seen what pushing others away does; I've lived it.

I want every supporter to know that I'm truly grateful for every nice comment, and every kind gesture. I can't take back the hurt I caused, I know that. I just hope by posting this that, the hurt might not sting so much.