If there is anything I have learned in the past three and a half years I've learned that looking at things with a more positive mindset can not only change the way you see things but the way you feel. I've mentioned that I went to a pretty dark place after what happened that night and I lost myself for a while but until this post, have truly come to terms with just how negative I looked at life and how I looked at myself.
Recently, I sat myself down and I searched for that me. The lost me... and I shockingly found her. I found pictures of that time and the only pictures from that time, are me drunk and so deep in depression that it showed on the outside too. It showed with how lost in alcohol I was and how much my body had suffered in a few short months. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. I am such a positive person now, to look back and see that I was so lost is pretty scary. But I can also say that it is motivation to never view something as precious life the same way again.
Yes, something bad happened. But I have learned now, that this life is made up of so much more than one bad experience. That one bad experience almost cost me everything... and I almost let it. Until one day I realized that I didn't want to live like that for one more second. So I didn't. I started looking at my bad experience as my turning point, to figure out who I really was. Then, when I started realizing who I really was, I started to like what I found. I started writing and helping others and fell back in love with life.
The next thing I knew, my weight started falling off, and drinking no longer was used for me to escape, I used my goals instead.
The saying really is true... how you feel on the inside will surely manifest itself on the outside. I can safely say at this point in my life, I love who I am on both, the inside and the outside. And I have never felt better.
"The woman I was yesterday, introduced me to the woman I am today; which makes me very excited about meeting the woman I will become tomorrow."